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Today’s Wisdom on the Fly is all about Giving…

I give all the time! Giving is my perpetual motion. I give to my children, I give to my husband, I give to my Church, etc…Oh most definitely, I am a Giver. As the good book says, “It is in giving that we receive.”

This may be a bitter question to ask, but is your life really a reflection of what the “good book” promises?

For so many years I hid behind what I thought the “good book” said. “It is in giving that we receive,” is a quote from St. Francis of Assisi and not the Bible.

Who knew? It sounded biblical.

What the Bible actually says, and what I have truly come to understand is, “Take heed that you do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise you have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.” Matt: 6:1

Are you being rewarded in your health?

Are you being rewarded in your finances?

Are you being rewarded in your relationships?

Etc….

I’ve taken one for the team, so you don’t have to. Learn from me!

I am the mother of two. They are now teenagers and maturing nicely…in their own way and in their own time. It has taken some time for us to reach this point. When they were younger, “I gave and sacrificed” so much for “them”. I wanted them to have the best. Not unlike most parent’s. Or so I believed.

I sacrificed because it’s what I saw my mother and grandmother do. I sacrificed because it’s what I was taught to do. I sacrificed not because I truly wanted to, but because I felt an obligation.

I realized about ten years into the parenting game that all this sacrificing was making me bitter and resentful. Was I doing all this sacrificing for the bragging rights and gaining the needed leverage to use against my children when they got out of line?

I was sacrificing because at the end of my life, I knew that they would truly come to the understanding that everything I did, I did for them.

WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP.

I was angry. They were rebellious. Our relationship was always that of a push/pull dynamic. We HATED each other and didn’t know why.

UNTIL….

The day I woke up to the truth about giving.

“Take heed that you do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise you have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.” Matt: 6:1

Giving is a personal journey. It is solely between you and God. The moment you make your efforts known, the power of giving is diminished.

When you allow God to speak to and through you in the area of giving, the game changes. Your giving will no longer meet society’s giving requirement.

For example:

For years I “gave and sacrificed” my time to work and attend my children’s elementary school fair. It always seemed to fall on a weekend that I had tons to do, but I “SACRIFICED AND GAVE” my time because that is what I, as a mom, was supposed to do. The school made a BIG DEAL of the service the parent’s rendered, parents felt good about themselves and the kids, whose parent’s were able to participate, felt really special. It was a WIN/WIN for everyone. RIGHT?

WRONG.

The Monday following the weekend of the fair, I returned to work. Monday morning office conversations all begin the same… “How was your weekend?” .

(I’m sure no one really wants to know, but it’s the “RIGHT” thing to do.)

Me: WELL, let me tell ya. I am tired as everything this morning. I had to work the kids’ school fair. I’m sure I’ll be fine after my coffee.

Co-worker: Yeah, I know all about those. A mother’s job is never done. Sacrifice is what we are here for. Your life is no longer your own.

Me: Yeah, I guess you’re right. I am sure they will appreciate it when they are older.

(I’ll be sure to remind them!)

Fast Forward 7 years.

My children remember NOTHING.

Not one single, solitary “sacrifice” I made for THEM.

They want more!

They want a chauffeur, a cook, a maid, an ATM…

Come to think about it, they never mentioned a giver or sacrificial lamb.

It was around this time that I realized that all the “giving” I had performed was done for me. It was not between me and God. If I gave, you knew. Not in a bragging way, just in enough of a way to let whoever was in ear shot know that I was a good and caring person. It was KILLING ME!

I was tired all the time. Angry. Stressed. Unorganized. Etc…

“Take heed that you do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise you have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.” Matt: 6:1

I was not being rewarded for my giving because I was doing it all before men.

The day I stopped the game changed.

Now, I give in the silent places. Whether it be a prayer at 3 in the morning when God wakes me, a journal entry for my children or husband, a home-cooked meal (I am not a cook, so this is a BIG deal), an impromptu trip to the mall with my daughter, etc…it feels good. It energizes me and refreshes my soul. I am no longer playing to the crowd and have removed myself from being judged by society’s standards.

God and I now have our own style of giving and the rewards are exponential. Peace, joy, abundance, order and clarity…to name just a few.

Once again…

Are you being rewarded in your health?

Are you being rewarded in your finances?

Are you being rewarded in your relationships?

Etc….

Only you know the answer.

If the answer is no, check your Giving.

“Take heed that you do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise you have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.” Matt: 6:1

Always Journal Everyday!